So you want to become a Canadian citizen, eh?

So the Conservative government unveiled a new citizenship study guide earlier this month. The study guide is a invaluable document to immigrants to Canada who wish to become Canadian citizens. The information in the guide helps them to prepare for their 20-question citizenship test which they can take after they've lived in Canada for three years. If they pass the test and meet certain language requirements, they can then become Timbit-loving citizens like the rest of us. (Don't worry, if you were born in Canada you're most likely a Canadian citizen by default. And besides, if you're a university student, a 20-question multiple choice exam would be much too easy trekking for you ...three hour finals with four essay questions are much more rewarding!)
The new guide places additional emphasis on Canada's connection to the Crown (hence the cartoon) and our military history. In my opinion, it's mostly quite alright. But in the arts and culture section three filmmakers are named as extraordinary Canucks, but no musicians, actors, or authors. That means no Joni Mitchell, Jim Carrey, Maggie Atwood, or CELINE DION - SACRE BLEU!
I'm also hot and cold on the added emphasis on the military and the Crown. Certainly the battles of our veterans ought to be recognized, but I don't think we want to portray ourselves as a military nation. And is the Crown connection in there to ensure new Canadians don't join the crescendo of calls for abandonment?
My main interview source for this story was Ramesh Sivaenanam, a student who grew up in Sri Lanka and India. His excitement at living in Canada and eventually becoming a citizen was genuine and refreshing. Very often we take for granted living in the Great White North, but we ought not. Being able to vote and think freely are not realities for everyone.
I think the argument proposed by Jessica Brown in the article that every Canadian should have to take the test is legitimate. I'm not sure mine or Doug McKenzie's passing or failing should determine our citizenship, but if a hoser fails, there should be some punishment. Take away his beer...that would set him straight.
The updated guide is here. Peruse it at your leisure and take the practice test too. If you fail go to the library and sign out all the Will Ferguson books you can. Thank me later.

An Electrifying Election Evening

October 28 was civic election day in Regina and the rest of the province. But, if voter turnout means anything, not many people cared.
Only 24.97 per cent of eligible voters cast a ballot in Regina, down nearly 12 per cent from the 2006 election. The reason for all the no-shows may be found in a recent survey done by Ipsos Reid showed approval rates in the city at 81 per cent for the mayor and 83 per cent for the council - the highest numbers for any municipal government in the country.
The mayoral race this time around was no contest, with incumbent Pat Fiacco winning a fourth consecutive term. The council races brought a few surprises though, most notably Saskatchewan Roughrider Chris Szarka triumphing. Can a boxer (Fiacco is a former boxing champ) and a 235 lb. fullback coexist, you ask? Let's hope so, or we'll have to bring in Jesse "The Body" Ventura to mediate. Or perhaps the Governator...
Anyway, covering election night was interesting. The results came in slowly, but towards the end of the night the chamber filled up with results-watchers.
Fiacco had a little fun after his victory, bringing out a bag of nacho chips in reference to an impersonator on Twitter who talks of his love for the chips. Jim Elliott said he was happy with his runner-up showing and vowed to be back on the ballot in three years. Szarka showed up with his posse near the end of the night and was greeted eagerly by his new colleagues. He was apparently impossible to reach during the campaign, but the media swarmed him in the chamber upon his arrival. By my count he only used two sports cliches in his responses - not bad.
Maybe to increase voter turnout we need to start offering incentives. Big Mac coupons from McDonalds? A one month reprieve from property taxes? A 'Fiacco shovels your driveway for free' coupon?
Yes to all three.

'Hillier'iously Ridiculous

I was just watching an interview with Gen. Rick Hillier on The National, and a clip from an interview he did three years ago was played. In it he said "we are here at the invitation of the Afghan people" and (paraphrasing) "every Afghan person we talk to in the streets says they are happy we are here and they want us to stay for a long time."
Hillier, with the publication of his new book, has certainly changed his tune on the mission recently. But it seems he is still strongly in favour of the mission. That's fine. I don't discredit him for believing in the mission. But the two above quotes from his previous interview strike me as intensely ridiculous.
I'm sure many Afghan people are happy troops came in to the country to free them from the rule of the Taliban. But, as I remember it, we didn't go there because the Afghans sent us a nice card in the mail 'inviting' us to come over and blow stuff up in their country.
And certainly many Afghan people do personally thank the troops roaming the streets of their cities and towns. I might too if I were one of them. But let's not forget that there are those who have lost loved ones when NATO offenses have resulted in civilian deaths. I'm willing to say that they likely aren't thankful thousands of troops have come in to fight throughout their country. And then there are those who have killed Allied troops through suicide bombings and whatnot.
I'm not saying the war is good or bad. I am saying, though, that let's not be duped by statements by our top military officials.
And let's just hope all the rest of our men and women over there make it home safe.

The First Canadian Pirates

Jack Sparrow: Your next MP?

OK, they're not real pirates. They're not going to plunder your speedboat in search of booty. They haven't adopted 'The Last Saskatchewan Pirate' as their theme song.
But the Pirate Party of Canada has started up, and if everything goes as planned for them they'll be plundering ... I mean pandering for your votes in the next election.
They're a serious party talking about serious issues, namely file sharing and copyright laws. You can find my story as it appeared in INK here. Tell your friends!

Putting our political parties on a leash

So, as I mentioned before, our federal politicians are in need of a good talking to regarding elections. And since Michaelle Jean hasn't yet whipped them into shape, I've taken it upon myself to play the scolding mother. Below you'll find my ideas for how we can fix our electoral system and ensure that we poor souls needn't mark 'X's more than necessary.

On the Rick Mercer Report a few weeks ago there was a great sketch on makers of small pencils used for marking ballots losing their jobs because Jack Layton stopped an election from happening. So I guess those chaps get the short end of the stick again with my proposal, but hey, they could probably all get jobs making huge prop cheques for the Conservative Party.

And yes, I intended to look scary in the adjacent photo. That was my 'I'm a serious journalist' face.


Read my piece here. (It includes the Rhinoceros Party ... it's bound to be good.)

Rewriting the rules

Federal election talk has died down for the moment, but we know it's bound to rear its ugly head again soon whenever the Conservatives replace the Liberals as the ones making the gaffes.
And no one much is impressed, just as no one was last time...or the time before.
So in the column I've written for INK I propose fixed elections with a fun, fancy twist (it involves the Rhinoceros Party, so it's bound to be decent).
When it's published next week I'll put up a link to it so you brave souls can read it. In the meantime there is hockey to watch. Go Habs!